there's no need in reading this, i just like to write out things that i need to get off my chest and this seems appropriate =]

Well, i always know right about at the end of each holidays i begin to think too much. i dont have enough on my mind to distract me from problems to dwell on.
Yeah well it's closing in on my holidays so as due, im thinking too much.
It seems im getting nowhere all the time. Im always so angry and bored. my sister continuously says that im too mean on my mum. and i really dont want to be, and as much as i deny it, i really am quite harsh at the most smallest things.
i dont know if i like who i am and i dont know how to change. i dont really know what i even like anymore! i mean, i might think i like something but then within the minute ill be completely against or scrutinizing it too much. i dont know if my friends are there for me, they dont seem to have a clue about my problems. but then when i say that i sound really selfish and full of myself. why should they have to notice anything if i dont tell them anything anyway? but thats the thing. i cant tell them anything, and it's not their fault. it's just me. and i still dont know how to change myself.
people say it's not good to be someone else. just be yourself. but i dont like myself. i want to be someone else...
so i dont know...
i'm a bit lost at the moment
a bit sad at the most smallest things
a bit angry all the time
not who i want to be.

so please dont dwell on this journal im just sorting some stuff out in my head, and im hoping, hoping so so much that it'll all fall into place.